November 18th, 2011

On November 18th, 2011, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Even though I received the diagnosis on the 18th, I had exciting plans in place for the 19th, which my parents did not want to ruin for me. On the evening of November 19th, my parents sat down with my brother, sister, and myself and explained the doctor's diagnosis.  At first, I subconsciously blamed myself. I thought that I had somehow caused the diagnosis- as if I had even wished for it. For many months I had wished I would get a diagnosis of something just so the mysteries would be solved. I asked my siblings to leave the room so I could talk with my parents alone.

With tear-filled eyes, my parents and I discussed what the diagnosis of MS would mean for me. The scariest part for me, was the though of the needed medications to prevent progression of the demyelinating disease.

The weeks following my diagnosis, my thoughts were filled with question and disbelief, and I continuously reminded myself that I have MS. I continued to work through the emotions while discussing the possibilities for my future with my mom and dad.

Not long after, I visited my new neurologist to learn about medication options. He explained the options to me; daily, 3x/week, 1x/week, or 1x/month injections. Of course, each medication had their own unique side effects. The thought of giving myself injections scared me. I had been poked by hundreds of needles in the last 14 months, that I did not want anymore. I prayed for weeks that I would not have to go through the pain and emotional stress of learning how to administer self-injections.

In late January 2012, my parents informed me that my medications would arrive that day. My eyes immediately filled with tears as the thought of an injection every day became reality. Upon arriving at the doctor's office, the nurse, whom my parents and I learned to love and trust deeply, showed me, and allowed me to practice giving an injection into a piece of foam. Then finally, it was time. It was time for me to receive my first dose of Copaxone. As I lifted my shirt to receive the injection on my stomach, my dad begun to cry, as he looked at my terrified face and said with a disappointed, frustrated, and worried look on his face, "I'm sorry. I love you." Then the needle punctured my skin, and the liquid entered my body. I experienced a burning pain at first. We stayed at the doctor's office to ensure no difficulties, and then left for home. My routine of injections had begun.

In late January 2012, my parents informed me that my medications would arrive that day. My eyes immediately filled with tears as the thought of an injection every day became reality. Upon arriving at the doctor's office, the nurse, whom my parents and I learned to love and trust deeply, showed me, and allowed me to practice giving an injection into a piece of foam. Then finally, it was time. It was time for me to receive my first dose of Copaxone. As I lifted my shirt to receive the injection on my stomach, my dad begun to cry, as he looked at my terrified face and said with a disappointed, frustrated, and worried look on his face, "I'm sorry. I love you." Then the needle punctured my skin, and the liquid entered my body. I experienced a burning pain at first. We stayed at the doctor's office to ensure no difficulties, and then left for home. My routine of injections had begun.

For the next 16 months, I learned how to manage the pain, bruising, and lumps formed on my skin from the medication. On many occasions, the pain was too strong to tolerate, and I would hold my arm, leg, or stomach in an effort to ease the pain.

But on March 27, 2013, my prayers had been answered. A new oral medication was approved for MS treatment; Tecfidera. I was no longer faced with the reality of painful injections every night. I could  say goodbye to those needles, and take two pills every day!

Many events and opportunities emerged after I learned of my MS. Stories and pictures will be shared in coming posts.